17 June 2007

Identity Crisis

I guess after four years of sharing your life with the same person, it's okay for me to be going through a bit of an identity crisis. Not so much that I don't know who I am anymore, but more that I feel a need to redefine or reinvent myself, discover a new Samm, explore new and different things, things that I've always wanted to try and experience but have not for one reason or another. That's not easy for me to find since I'm naturally a pretty adventerous person anyway, but there's always something new to try.

I discovered a new perfume that I absolutely love. I never used to wear actual perfume before. Scented lotions or body sprays maybe, but not actual perfume. I love it! I have to admit that I've gotten a ton of positive responses from it too, mostly from the opposite sex. Regardless, I still love it.

I chopped my hair off. The only reason I was growing it back out was per the request of someone that doesn't exist in my life any longer. There was no reason to keep growing it out, especially during the summer time when it gets so heavy. I chopped it off myself to the style of Lenny Kravitz after he and Lisa Bonet split. It was liberating! There was so much negative energy trapped in my locks. It wasn't THAT long, but it grows fast and it was getting past my shoulders. I had Nissy (who's been staying with me) touch up the back for me. It feels great.

I started swing dancing again. About 8 to 9 years ago, I was as into Lindy Hop as I am now about pool. I danced almost every single day and I absolutely loved it! Eventually, the swing scene died out a bit and for a lack of interest and dance partners, I stopped going.

About a week ago, I decided to check out the Mercury Cafe on a Sunday night for swing night and to my surprise, the place was packed. I asked Nissy to come with me and she was excited about it too. We ended up going back on Thursday night and have agreed to go at least once a week. I LOVE IT!!! I was really worried that I wouldn't remember the steps, but I think I did okay. I stayed on beat and turned when I was supposed to. There are so many great dancers nowadays. One incredible thing is that the beautiful couple, Daniel Newsome and Tiffiny Wine who used to teach the swing classes years and years ago, still teach it together and now they're married. They're the cutest li'l things and just amazing dancers!

Our favorite new dance, The Balboa. We downloaded the instructions and videos from YouTube to learn the steps. It's the cutest little dance EVER!

I've stocked my fridge with all the foods that I like to eat, which coincidentally happens to be foods that Nissy also likes to eat. We make late night meals now that are healthier and taste great (they don't always look appetizing, but they're yummy!).

I'm moving. I haven't quite decided where to yet, but I definitely don't want to live in Aurora anymore. I never have. The reasons and decisions for staying in this neighborhood for as long as I have were not mine. A few options: rent out my place and move to Denver, sell my place and move to Denver, or rent out my place and go teach english (or maybe even pool) abroad in some foreign country for a year. Now is the time and there's nothing keeping me here.

Well, not nothing. Vegas is my only commitment, responsibility, and unconditional true love. He's coming with me where ever I go though.

Apparently, it never hurts less, only less often... I'll have to remember that. I'm thankful for my health, my abilities, my family, my true friends, and my ability to do what I love.

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