I'll be on a plane in just a few short hours for Minneapolis for New Years before leaving for the Derby City Classics tournament.
I'd like to thank a recent Mystery Captain Commenter. I've corrected the salad mix-up and appreciate the help. Yikes! What can I say? I'm ESL (yes, and I plan to use that excuse for as long as I can possibly get away with it - heehee).
I wish everyone a Safe & Magnificent New Year!!! Don't cork an eye out.
Thanks for taking the time to follow my ramblings and I can't wait for this year to be OVER!
Looking forward to a new year with new opportunities and new excitement.
After six hours and three and a half repeats of A Christmas Story (of about the six times I'd watched it over the past 48 hours), four episodes of a mini Family Guy marathon, two Office episodes, and two Sex and the City episodes, I've finally changed the channel. Thanks TBS for mellow, uneventful xmas day.
Today, I was reminded of a couple very important things from my friend Robert:
You can pick your friends. You can pick your nose. But you can't pick your friends' noses.
And, most importantly, only YOU can make yourself happy. You can't depend on anyone else. It's just not anyone else's responsibility.
I realize that I struggle with expectations. I find myself setting the same expectations for people that I would set for myself. I would never treat someone that way, so I "expect" them to not treat me that way. I would never be so rude so I expect the same courtesy from others. When will I learn? Can it be learned???
I spent the first few hours of my morning volunteering downtown and the rest of the day vegged out on the couch to the above mentioned shows while taking intermittent naps and snacking on leftover ham.
I was originally supposed to fly out tonight for Minneapolis so I opened all my presents yesterday. I'm not flying out until the 30th now and had nothing to open today. My "other" family in Charlotte sent me a beautiful box of goodies to decorate the space beneath my 12" tree. They've kept Christmas alive for me this year.
I invited Robert and Bob over on Sunday where I made my first roast and cut my first onions, EVER! Some went in the slow cooker (for 12 hours) and I made Robert cook up the rest for the gravy. Garlic is the ONLY member of the onion family that I don't mind. Chopping the onions the night before was an incredibly traumatic experience which involved rubber gloves, the vent on high, and some gagging. (Ooopf! Got the chills just thinking about it)
Miraculously, the roast was quite edible. I'd also prepared:
fresh asparagus with cream cheese wrapped in smoked salmon
I'd like to thank everyone for your recent concern and support in response to the "Expectations = Disappointment" post. Though I meant every word of it, I didn't mean to alarm anyone. I'm fine. I was sad, obviously, at the time that I posted it but possibly more annoyed than anything.
I don't know what the answers are. Does anyone really???
The last thing in the world I was looking for this summer was for another relationship. I was on the road to recovery and I was perfectly content traveling it alone. That is, until, SMACK! I was blindsided! It truly took a very special person to make me even remotely consider getting involved again. I was completely swept off my feet.
Since then, it's been better than I ever could've imagined, but it definitely hasn't been an easy journey for either of us. Learning about one another has it's ups and downs. And, it hasn't helped that I've been dragging my feet all the way, putting his finger on the trigger, just looking for reasons to pull it.
It takes a truly understanding, patient man to deal with my fears of feeling hurt again, the anxiety of not knowing what's to come, and the scars that were left behind.
The bottom line is: I'm damaged goods. The partner is a dream-come-true, but the timing could definitely be better. I don't know what the answers are. Can timing be overcome? If everything else is so right, will that trump the scars and baggage left behind???
Please forgive my melodramatic ponderings. The holidays bring it out of me.
One thing I've discovered in my "new" relationship is that I can cook! Yeah! As it turns out, I'm quite the creative cook (if I may be so bold). I had no idea. All those years of heating up frozen dinners and making spaghetti and meat sauce really didn't showcase my culinary abilities at all. In fact, I quite enjoy it! And as a bonus we even eat healthier.
Last night, I prepared myself a decadent little salad with freshly chopped lettuce, peeled/diced pear, sliced beets, Gorgonzola chunks, corned beef (for the protein), and a fresh vinaigrette that I whipped together. Cooking is so much fun! Who knew?!??
Nissy's coming over tomorrow night for a bake-fest. I can't wait! Then, next Sunday, xmas eve eve, I've invited my friend Bob, Robert, and Michael over for a lonely-pool-player's-xmas-supper. Hope it turns out okay.
What causes us to have expectations??? Where do they come from? Do they stem from our past experiences? Proven facts?? Observations???
If I could just learn to not care, then I would never have to feel disappointment again.
I'm a firm believer in giving people the "benefit of the doubt." Everyone deserves the chance to plead their case. I would want the same opportunity for myself. Innocent until proven guilty, right?
Enough of the b*s* courtroom cliches! Real life doesn't work that way! Accusations are made all the time! People are judged, misjudged, mistreated!
I'm a reasonable human being. I pride myself in always trying to be as reasonable and fair as possible. Unfortunately, that's not one of those "do unto others..." reciprocations. Unfortunately, being respectful and considerate is not enough to warrant the same behavior from others, not even the ones that are supposed to care about you the most.
Is it better to have felt disappointment than to never have cared at all???
NO! I want to feel sweet ignorance! I don't want to care anymore! How do I learn to stop caring?!
Two crazy girls, Samm and Nissy, take a drive on East Colfax in search of a interesting, new (to them) divey bar to check out. They drove so far, they almost ended up in Downtown Aurora. They would find themselves at "The Hangar," (where their motto is "Helping Ugly People to Have Sex Since 1938" - now that's one classy joint!) with the most beautiful, eclectic mix of live music (courtesy of Boa & the Constrictors) on a small stage area, the sweetest bartender in town, the cleanest restrooms you could ever image (fully equipped with papers towels and my personal favorite, foamy soap), the drunk birthday girl, some random homeless dancers and pool players, the regulars, and just an entire group of super fun, interesting, friendly people in a small room with two pool tables and a giant plane made from beer cans. Starring: Samm, Nissy, April the bartender, a guy called Freddie that bought us drinks (Thanks, Freddie!), a couple o' cool cats called Carl & Reggie, pool players Mark & Kevin, and a room full of other interesting characters Coming soon to DVD. Details: color, widescreen, 4.30:1 See Trailer:
WOW! I truly can not believe my calendar when I see that it's December today. Good grief, Charlie Brown!
Well, it's definitely been an eventful year. That's no lie. It almost feels like it's been about seven years all in this one.
Yesterday was a nice day, nearly perfect minus that hour and half wasted on my splitting headache. It started off with a visit to my chiropractor where he released some WELL needed tension from my lower back (all those accumulated uncomfortable plane rides).
Next, I stopped by the K-Mart in the ghetto, across the street from my old high school. I don't think I'd been in there since I was in high school. I wouldn't have gone either except it was pretty desperate measures. Fortunately, the visit was a success.
You see, for the last month I've been on a mission to find, in my opinion, the perfect hanger. They just don't make tubular hangers like they used to. I CAN'T STAND wire hangers, the wooden ones take up way too much room, the plastic ones that come with the clothes are worse than the wire ones, and I would just use all the other plastic kind if I could get them in bulk at a reasonable price but they can tend to take up too much room too. Most tubular hangers these days don't have the extra support on the sides and will tend to start sagging in the middle after time. Trust me, professional clothes-whore, that's annoying!
As the story goes, I've been to two different Targets in Minneapolis, a couple dollar stores, Lowes, Home Depot, a Target in Aurora, even a Wal-Mart (sorry, Mike), before looking online and still coming up dry. I like to think I'm pretty resourceful, but come on! This was insanity!
So, after hours and hours of research and disappointment, the K-M was my last resort and I'm just glad they had them. I got 250 hangers for 35 bucks!
Unfortunately, the next couple hours was wasted on the couch nursing my pounding head-ball.
After a brief nap, my mom came over and we went SHOPPING!!! I've been so good about not getting any clothes for myself for so long (minus some BC attire courtesy of BC.com). Anyway, shopping with mom is like Christmas anyway, but doubly so, we did some bargain shopping at the mall and I ended up with two long-sleeve button-downs, two pairs of black tournament pants, and a nice blazer all for less than I paid for 250 clothes hangers. Good thing I got some extra hangers... heehee...
After the hard day of bargain shopping with my mom, I came home to a very productive evening of reorganizing the garage (especially now that my friend Robert returned my CR-V, I had to make sure it could still fit in there with the extra chair I've accumulated), sorting through xmas stuff, and decorating the mantle a little bit.
Speaking of which... I'm really looking forward to creating some new, special holiday memories this year. I initially feared I might feel some bitter-sweet emotions about Christmas this year, especially since it's already such a naturally stressful time of the year anyway, but I'm really looking forward to it. I think it's gonna be just right.
I wish everyone a Safe & Magnificent New Year!!! Don't cork an eye out.
